Saturday, May 1, 2010
Just Stop It
I need to stop, and think about what I am doing to myself. I would like someone to explain to me why my first thoughts of the day are put-downs, insults, and negativity towards myself? That same thought process seems to continue throughout the day. If you're anything like me, in a day I'm probably able to spot 100+ things that I do not like about myself, or would like to change. Most of those are physical. Yet actually coming up with the good things seems like a chore.
I know, I've tried. Occasionally a little voice in my head interrupts the insulting one, and says "Woah woah, how about you flip that, and try saying something nice?" Which I do, and for a fleeting moment I am happy I choose to say something nice instead of horrible. I decide right then and there that going forward THAT is how I will speak to myself. And I shit you not, five minutes later I'm back to picking on myself. Why?
Now, perhaps that's just because I have a goldfish memory and forget to be nice. But still, shouldn't that come naturally? Everyone knows that beating yourself down isn't going to do a damn thing except make you feel like crap. Plus, I know for a fact that when I'm feeling very upset I tend to eat - hoping that the feeling of being full somehow will fix the problem. Food is my comfort, I recognize that.
Anyway, I don't want to ramble on too much more, I just had these thoughts the second I woke up this morning and glanced at myself in a mirror.